drink down that gin and kerosene

Haha im back

2009-06-21T08:56:05Z

Dear LJ

You are an old friend that though the hard times I have ignored but as I do I have come crawling back to tell my story and share some tissues.

When I as last here my grandfather had a stroke, since then he has passed away, it’s strange to write those words, I never thought it would happen, im shamed to say I rarely saw him in his last months, I couldn’t see him that way I feel so selfish looking back now.I know if the roles were revered he would be there everyday.

While dealing with this I was kicked out of home by my grandmother, I felt so wronged and it wasn’t my fault, since then I have lived in two scary and amazing refugees, I have learnt much about myself and that someone will always have it worse than myself,its refreshing to live like this and to experience something so alian to what im used to.

Right now im living in Erskineville ,im happy to say I get to spend everyday on King St I think im in love with the amazing shops and cafes and Newtown gym is the strangest gym in the world with transgender people working out next to jock like men its funny to me because Rozelle was nothing like this.

At this movement im working three very different jobs all in the same area but I love keeping active and all my jobs are pretty active especially the Child Care work in doing, Im working the a special needs team and its great, my focus is a girl that shows signs of ADHD and is partially Deaf, She is so amazing she is reading at a school aged level and can brighten your day with her “silly Billy” songs.

Im planning a trip to Melbourne in July, Its only for five days but it gives me a chance to just get away from everyone , I think I need space to remember who I am, the past six months ive lost my spark ,my inner nut ,So im hoping this will give me the chance to just be by myself .

Well Ive got a room to clean so I better get to it.

What a long day

2009-01-11T14:31:26Z

Im not a big writer and i dont write well but there are words and a story to tell

24hrs ago my pop who i live with had a minor stroke and cant move his left side and im scared hes everything to me i dont show it but he is, and i cant see him hurt.He wants to come home and he cant yet( I know he will)he thinks hes going to die there,They treat him like a baby even thought his memory so far is all there.

I never thought this was going to happen to him sure hes been ill but never like this,i take him for granted hes always been there being a pain making sure i was safe and yelling out "be careful crossing the road"and "Come home your dinners on the table"This man i believe will out live us all now all i see is him in a bed to small for him pulling the sheets off him and trying to sit on the side of the bed like he does at home.

My nan seems to be copeing alright holding his hand,telling him off and just being there but know hes alone in the ward and thats what hurts the most for he is never alone someone is always with him or hes on the phone picking a fight with an old friend.

xxxbugxxx @ 2008-06-06T19:05:00

2008-06-06T09:08:59Z

Wow its been three weeks since last post i am getting slack in my old age.

So anyway nothing grand just lots of assignments due next week that have to be done and doing a few extra shifts at work.

How is everyone???

Meme

2008-05-13T09:02:58Z

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) no 34, just checking you're still with us

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Taken from Jenn

Working

2008-01-21T02:18:18Z

Im off to do a work test on Glebe point chemist .

xxxbugxxx @ 2007-07-24T21:55:00

2007-07-24T11:56:00Z

What type of Fae are you?

Happy birthday

2007-07-22T08:26:02Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISKA.

RUNS AROUND THE HOUSE SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" OFF KEY AND LOUD

Im getting old

2007-07-14T15:38:54Z

"ITS MY BIRTHDAY"
Well thats all i wanted to say to you guys

talk to you later today

Wyong shire library

2007-07-09T06:49:19Z

So im visting my mum ive been here for a few days,just chillin and now im sitting at the local library reading my lj stuff cos i got nothing else to do so what have i done.

Went ton the train to get here(i waved when i went past summer hill) and had i great time talking to my brother which is a first.

The final RH i was on the edge of my seat but i must be filled in about M getting stabbed because i missed the week befores show i was totally lost for the first 5 mintues....M smashed Guy YAY

5hrs of the urbz sims in the city on xbox (oh how i love those games)

well got to go my dears but Jenn i will have to call you about tues or if you can msg me these details

Time i got to be there and time it ends and where should i meet you and the most important question lol what do i wear???

well bye guys

Last three days of working

2007-06-22T10:19:52Z

As you all know the firt day was very bad but everything went so much better after that.

While there i have:
peeled 150 tatoes
Have 4 meals cooked for me($200)
been covered in chocolate
learned about men in the wild(kindder funny)
shamelessly hit on but a man 7yrs my snr who on the first day was so rude to me..i felt kindrer good and creepy at the same time.

Over all my first week of work placement has been fun and i cant wait for next weeks.

so im going to leave you in peace til monday ,have a good weekend and do smart things like me, i going to learn all about lj cuts and CSS.

Day one of Pain

2007-06-19T10:27:29Z

So to day i started my first day of work placement and i have never hated something as much as i hate this.
Reasons
1.for about 11hrs my backs been killing cos ive been on my feet all day.
2.Angus...Total wanker sexist jerk who spends all day talking about sexully gross things that i really dont want to hear about.ARRHHH
3.They are giving me crap jobs to do .
4.i worked 7hrs non stop to day with no breaks at all and i know thats not right.

well im done in my spazzie rant of the day

Thats Eric

Zip it .. for gds sake sht up

2007-06-11T08:10:14Z

I have a huge Whale like mouth and because of this im grounded til August ....Guess what that means no sale this weekend and no BIRTHDAY and no hellogoodbye and if i dont learn to be hush like no Cobra and Academy...

O and i think my Nan smashed my Ipod so im having so much fun right now..

Well ill see most of you tomorrow at school and for the other ill see you when i see you

PS Mis my nan may be coming in tomorrow (Tues) trying to cancel my card so say hi to her LOL

Rainy day's sunshine

2007-06-09T06:19:29Z

Anne,
Im sorry for being a complete and utter bitch to you lately..
Lets face it we dont really get along that well, sometimes its fine. But other times.. I dont know you just bug me..
and I know I bug you tons too and I want to try for us to be friends.. Im going to stop being a bitch and get along with you, because you've always been nice to me.

Im sorry, I would tell you this to your face but I need you to know now, and your not online so.. yeah this seemed the best way.
I hope you can forgive me.

-Cara

Just had this sent to me by a person i thought was my friend and a person i treated like a friend but i guess i was bugging her with out really noticing i was, so um yea that really it

I wouldn't say a thing.I would listen to them..and that's what nobody did

2007-06-02T11:43:21Z

Day one of writting my 15 pages of english journal is done and ive done about six pages with nine to do tomorrow plus finnish my entertainment tasks which i can type up on monday during my two frees yay.

While doing this homework stuff ive learnt to open my eyes to marilyn manson, i still dont like his music and i still thinks he strange but i find him a very smart man you see i was researching the Columbine high school massacre ans the doco made about it for english and came across his interview in the film and where he states if he were to talk to the killer what would he say "I wouldn't say a thing.I would listen to them..and that's what nobody did

Its fun that people claim to care but two high school boys felt so alone and angry that they would kill 15 people including themselfs to get revenge..its kind messed up dont you think..

Well im off to bed hope everything is dandie where you are and miska hope your enjoying bate's bay

Spelling mistakes and lies on tear stained paper.

2007-06-01T08:07:38Z

As i said i would in my last post..here is my school results..

I DIDNT FAIL not even entertainment even though my assignment tast is over a month late and i have been given a "n" notice( its really bad). and my Vis design teacher loves me even though im missing heaps of work.

In other great news i had a eye test today and im getting new glasses with *gasp* two arms( its been over 6 months that my glasses have been broken)

But in even better news FALL OUT BOY are coming back to australia in september so there goes my plan of not going to any gigs in september so i could save my money for TOC.

Well im being called for dinner

My weekend

2007-05-29T10:30:42Z

I thought i would type this up before i forgot the tiny,shine details of The Used.

By the way this is going to be very short..

Got to Newtown late saw Cara,Jenn was also late and Mis had other things to do (must be boring with out the brat now)wondered aroung newtown for a few hours made friends that i may never see again and saw people i had made friends with at Billy Talent and 30STM(btw thanks Gak for the paper with magic squiggles on it )

"S" band a bit blah but The Used rocked out rather well and we even got a "special" song from bert that he wrote when he was twelve and was it only me the relised that in "Take it away" Bert says fuck this shit instead of Chemical romance...LOL and they did Queen but thanks to people in the front that told him to stop(if that was you thank you very much)

About to go so last mintue things thank you Mis for the lending of the floor and to jenns mum for the drive home and Gak for the paper.

will write up about my Parent teacher night tomorrow

Night lil ones
Night

I wrote a goodbye note

2007-05-22T05:33:10Z

I’m at TAFE again…..and im doing nothing its true my teacher is upstairs in his office with hot chocolate which I find very unfair.

In other news this Sunday in going to the Enmore to watch The Used and I have to say Jenns mum go the best tickets ever...right in front of the band and I promise you I will be right in front of Jepha the bassist don’t get me wrong I love Bert but he’s kinda gross and in other Used related news they are going to be here in October funny thing is that it’s the day after the 5 yr mark of my dads passing so I think that I will need to rock out hard to make me feel better.

Talking about feeling better...hope you are mis :) and if I am lucky I might swing past and see you …man I really feel like a stalker and im giving my self the creeps lol.

We back to the classes room with me *sigh*

Let the freak out STOP

2007-05-17T10:10:47Z

YAY
im back online.... let me explain sometime on tuesday night my comp went funny and wouldnt let me on the net for any longer than five mintues but thanks to a friendly friend it seems to be working fine which is a win for me cos i love my net far to much for it to be playing mind games with me.

Other than the freak out the past todays ive been really ill like laying in bed ill not moving ill but with the help of Mr borrowed book i got thou the ill and am feelimg better,talking about getting better i hope you are all right Mis.

Just for a bit of randomness the used will be doing a myspace show which im trying to get in to ..wish me luck guys

xxxbugxxx

2007-05-15T06:20:36Z

So im sitting at TAFE waiting to do my radio show that goes for an hour yep that’s right they are letting me play with dials and buttens and play music for one whole hour ..boy they are stupid but hey I am getting marked on it so I guess since they really what me to do it I will
MY play list
MCR
FOB
MUSE
GOOD CHAR( yea I know but I ran out of music)
HIM
That’s about it for an hour but I did sneek in a HELLOGOODBYE and that’s the best thing of all cos who doesn’t love them cos they are made of puppys and raindrops and everything nice and I will be seeing them on the 19 of july just after my birthday .

O god I got to go now 10 min left before I go to AIR arrrr

xxxbugxxx

Oh family ties

2007-05-09T09:15:05Z

Familys are ment to be this really great thing that love you know matter what right..wrong

Right now im hiding in my room feeling now love at all for you see my nan went though some of my things and not on perpose as she keep telling me went thogh my school diary and found out about what i had really been doing when i was studying at Mis's house or at the movies and how much money i owed people.

Because my nans so smart she is cutting off all my money and told me to learn how deal with people being horrible to me because i cant pay them the money back and because she wants all their parents numbers so she can tell them about me oweing their children money and how they are a bad group of children cos i was such a saint last year ut dont worry i will be grounded of life before i tell them the numbers but they have my phone which pisses me off.

Well im all out of hate and pity for my nan the snoop but if i get the urge for more ill be back

Its late

2007-05-08T13:31:34Z

Hey hey

well its getting late so i thought i would say goodnight to the masses and to say to Jenn and Mis have fun with kurt and the rest of NIN enjoy and i will most likely see you on the weekend

Cya

BOO

2007-05-08T06:39:36Z

Yes im back and im doing hard work ... yes I am thinking, thinking about tattoos.

Last night I got both oldies very upset when I made the suggestion that my pop should get a tattoo for his birthday today voices were raised and I was told how once you get one it NEVER comes of kind of like a rash from Ashlee simpleton whoops im mean Simpson(bad bad Pete)

What I WILL get done]
1. G cross my heart for my dad
2. roses on my left shoulder
3. vines wrapping down my left arm coming out of the roses

That’s it so far
Night night again cos it’s my home time

TAFE things to do

2007-05-08T06:24:22Z

“Its just past four on the playschool clock and our good friend Anne has just done 20 minutes of her hour clock for radio that she will be doing live next week oh what fun”..

LOL back to the real world and im “working “hard to fix the mistakes in my speech because on radio the voice is the money maker and I want to make money to spend on lots and lots of music because I am a music whore or that’s what my radio teacher called me.

So anyway it was needle day to day at my school and I was going ok until I was told they lost my form WTF I know I put it in the form return tray so I was really bummed about it cos I would have n\been able to whinge about it people I like rather than snotty nosed teacher who hates me and cant even remember my name BOO, but never fear after waiting half and hour for the olds they turned up and signed a new form and I was stabbed word of warning it burns afterwards but other than that its cool.

So today’s my pops birthday and I had nothing for him and I knew my olds would be angry cos I didn’t get him anything because in the past couple of weeks they have given me tons of money and I haven’t saved a cent that they know of (I have been for the paying of Jenns mum but lets not tell them that or i may get the evil eyes)

Now get that evil eye from Library woman and being told I can do this at home and other people really have PROPER needs for this internet imp using so I say to you night tiny ones

The house of the crazy haired girl

2007-05-05T13:43:24Z

So 30stm is over, the city camp out is off and we are at miskas and boy are we pooped so we grab beds mis and jenn in mis's bed cara on the floor of the room and me in mis's uncles bed which was kinda odd even thou he wasnt there i felt kinda werid and have urges to jump in with mis and jenn even thou there would be no space.. but i braved it quite well in the other room and after ages drifted off to sleep to be woken up in my thoughts only seconds later by a very cheerful jenn and was told that we were late up and so we rushed to the comic place to meet Toni who was there since 6 and it was about 8ish i think so we sat outside waiting for ages.

COMIC BOOK GUY yes i did just yell that out,my guys have this love hate thing going with him so the whole time we where in the shop we watched us cos we were getting Mr ways comic and CBG who i late asked his real name,micheal who tells us he doesnt like the band that MR Way is from but who we all know has all the MCR stuff in his room , i told he this got called stupid for doing this but its so true lol and i think i might be banned from the shop but o well i guess i need a wig now to go shopping there.

After we walk to the book shop across from town hall and got more comics and then pork buns, if you love me lots and lots you will get me these great items of food because i love them so and they need to be their own food group.about to leave and i get this message from my aunt saying that the olds were with her for lunch and wouldnt be home for awhile so i went to Summer Hill where Jenn Chillz then went on to miskas house and stayed there for ages then got the bus home and got in tropuble cos they rushed home and i came home 2hrs later in my school uniform that i had worn for about 36hr cos i didnt bring a change of clothes cos i have the dumb and a touch of the crazy.

At this point i would like to say thank you for Mis and Jenn for looking after me and making me eat something more than tictacs and looked after me while the grandparents did other things,hugs and friendly kisses for you both.

P.S chek billy talent out

If its broken, dont fuck with it

2007-05-05T11:29:56Z

Well guys my computers is working for the time being (ive had it going 2hrs non stop and no hick ups)is a wittle slow but working and i will never turn it off again but i swaer if we have blackouts im dead for the rest of my natural life for i swaer it will never turn back on and i will need to fork out more money that i dont have.

talking about money i dont have i went to 30 seconds to mars and i feel really let down by them, they only played for just over one hour so we where out by about 10:30 which is so very lame, and Jared's moves looked like he had been watching Gerard,davey and a bit of the Wentz and didnt make it work well it was really kinda painful to watch but like a true me i rocked out a bit to hard and am feeling it now (damn knee making me feel old) and i sung every line in every song and they have like a touring bassist cos matt the old one left who i liked so much cos he was ment to be really shy on stage and very still but mr tour guy wss going full ball with Tomo who may i say owns us all cos hes just so great and just a bit crazy.

we leave slightly in shock cos of the time and lack of music,while leave we (Jenn, Miska,Cara and ME)Get split up(i get eatten by the crowd cos im so small) but cos im so punk rock i pushed my way free and made our way to Newtown for food for Jenn than onwards to the city were me and Cara had this great plan to camp out in fronk of King's comcis so we could get TUA whic in a later blog in will go in to great detail about ok ....but while driving past remembered how much we value our lives and i really dont think Jenns mum was going to let us stay there so we went to Miskas home but that will be in the next update